Cape Karen
As 2007 begins, we are already being assaulted on all sides with what I call, "Weird News." Weird news are those news reports that are almost comical ~ in a perverse kind of way. Some are meant to be deadly serious, but somehow they miss the mark. Others are the reports that leave us with our mouths hanging open, or just have us scratching our heads in complete bewilderment.
First, there's the serious, scientific report just in from Paris, telling us that human-induced global warming IS for real. Well, golly o' gee - who didn't know that just from looking out the window, or by hearing about all the "first-time-EVER" weather events around the globe? And yet, there are those coming out of the woodwork to loudly refute the report. They're trying to tell us that it's all A Big Lie, geared towards the 'lucrative development of new technologies.' They claim it's just a silly Chicken Little report designed to scare us.
Well, let's think about it. You want to promote the sale of ethanol or create more efficient electric automobiles, or develop a better diesel fuel, etc., because maybe you will become a future billionaire. So, with all that in mind, you are somehow able to manipulate the world's leading climate scientists, and have them all agree to come up with a detailed scientific report that will convince everyone that the sky is falling, just so you can cash-in by developing new technologies?
Then we hear that "they lost" a TRILLION cash dollars in Iraqi money somewhere, a while back, and that we had to replace it with our good old tax-payer money. How does one "lose" a ton of paper money? Did it fall out of a plane? Did someone go with it, like D.B. who robbed a Wells Fargo truck in the 1970's and jumped out of a plane over Oregon never to be found? Should we be looking for bags full of Iraqi money somewhere between DC and Iraq? Will this become a National Treasure Hunt, hosted by the producers of Survivor? Or, could it be that there are a bunch of Iraqi's wearing thousand-dollar suits and driving around in new Lamborgini's? (They are also "losing" helicopters. The 5th one just went "missing" this week.)
And then there's the story about the female astronaut who put on a diaper, donned a wig, and drove 900 miles non-stop (except for gas; unless she has one of those new electric cars?) to seek revenge in a convaluted love triangle. Was it due to bi-polar disease, or was this just some good old-fashioned revenge? (You know what they say about a woman scorned. . . it's true!) But, they're all saying that Lisa's really just a 'wonderful person.'
And CNN is even broadcasting news reports today about UFO's that have been seen recently over the skies in the Northeast. Were they really meteors. . . all three of them?
All I can say is that late night television hosts sure don't have to look far to find great material for their opening monologues these days.